On books as temptation
Customer, with large stack of books in hand: "Someone ought to lock me up!"
Me: "You know, there are worse vices to have."
Customer: "True. The problem is, I'm going to drink at least a glass of wine with each of these."
On "you are what you read"
Customer: "I'm reading this book you recommended, and all of the short stories are about infidelity. You're not thinking of pulling the plug, are you?"
On the power of decision
Manager: "Are we getting a gift card today?"
Dad: "Yes, we are making no decision."
Son: "This is a decision."
Dad: "No, a gift card is not a decision."
Son: "Yes, it is. I could have chosen a Target gift card or a Wal-Mart gift card or a Bookshelf gift card, and I chose The Bookshelf. It was a decision."
On one-stop shopping
"Oh my gosh, you have chocolate, too? You're complete!"
On the perfect present
"Cookbooks are the gift that gives back to you. Now my mom can make me something."
Young girl: "Excuse me; where is your children's section?"
Me: "Oh, let me show you. It's this whole back part of the store, first picture books, then middle reader books, where your kind of books are."
Girl, wide-eyed, pauses, then claps hands twice. "Let's do this."