Spoken in the Shop, Vol. 4.

On TMI

"Do you have a paper towel? I'm sweating up a storm."

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On adulting

Teen customer: "I teach Sunday school to 2-year-olds, and would you believe the children's coordinator gave the class Dixie cups of water? I wanted to tell her, 'Um, they can't do that yet.' I'm so glad I know something a 30-year-old doesn't."

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On Kathleen Kelly and friends

"You'll love You've Got Mail. It's a great family comedy."

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On choosing your adjectives wisely

"Oh my god. That pen is delicious. So juicy!"

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On bookseller-customer confidentiality

"Excuse me, but do you have Get Your Loved One Sober?"

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On age-appropriate books

Fourth-grade boy: "Excuse me. I am looking for the literary masterpiece Sun Tzu, The Art of War."

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On "oh no, you didn't"

"I heard Harper Lee had a new book out; he hasn't published in years, has he?" 

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On price point

Bookseller, ringing up an autographed book: "Your total is $31.98."

Customer: "Geez. What'd she do, sign it in gold?"