Spoken in the Shop, Vol. 4.


"Do you have a paper towel? I'm sweating up a storm."


On adulting

Teen customer: "I teach Sunday school to 2-year-olds, and would you believe the children's coordinator gave the class Dixie cups of water? I wanted to tell her, 'Um, they can't do that yet.' I'm so glad I know something a 30-year-old doesn't."


On Kathleen Kelly and friends

"You'll love You've Got Mail. It's a great family comedy."


On choosing your adjectives wisely

"Oh my god. That pen is delicious. So juicy!"


On bookseller-customer confidentiality

"Excuse me, but do you have Get Your Loved One Sober?"


On age-appropriate books

Fourth-grade boy: "Excuse me. I am looking for the literary masterpiece Sun Tzu, The Art of War."


On "oh no, you didn't"

"I heard Harper Lee had a new book out; he hasn't published in years, has he?" 


On price point

Bookseller, ringing up an autographed book: "Your total is $31.98."

Customer: "Geez. What'd she do, sign it in gold?"